Being your own advocate is a rewarding yet tricky balancing act. On one hand, being aware of your needs and standing up for yourself is immensely empowering. On the other hand, asserting your needs too aggressively is often viewed as selfishness. So how do you know when you’re acting healthily or slipping into self-centered behavior? It’ll help if you understand the difference between self-advocacy and selfishness.

Self-Advocacy is About Communication — Selfishness is About Action

Think of it this way, self-advocacy is verbal, and selfishness is physical. When you’re advocating for yourself, you don’t necessarily have to get what you want, but you do express what it is that you are looking for. Selfishness usually involves getting your needs met without considering the feelings of others.

Self-Advocacy is Empowering — Selfishness is Limiting

Self-advocacy empowers individuals to assert their needs and rights, which leads to personal growth and development. Selfishness limits this ability to empathize with others and may lead to negative consequences in relationships. 

A great example of this is in the workplace. A self-advocate will be able to speak up for themselves and their needs without causing any harm to others, while a selfish individual may take credit for someone else’s work or put their own needs before co-workers.

Self-Advocacy is Respectful — Selfishness is Disrespectful

When you practice self-advocacy, you are respectfully communicating your needs and preferences. However, selfishness can be seen as an act of disrespect towards others because it prioritizes one’s own needs over those of others.

Self-Advocacy Considers the Needs of Others — Selfishness Does Not

Self-advocacy involves considering the needs of others and finding ways to communicate your own needs while not infringing on their rights. Selfishness, however, disregards the needs and feelings of others.

Self-Advocacy Promotes Healthy Relationships — Selfishness Damages Relationships

Practicing self-advocacy leads to healthier relationships because it encourages communication and mutual respect. On the other hand, selfishness damages relationships by creating tension and resentment.

Self-Advocacy Leads to Personal Growth — Selfishness Stunts Personal Growth 

By practicing self-advocacy, individuals develop their assertiveness and communication skills, leading to personal growth. However, selfishness stunts personal growth by limiting empathy and understanding of others.

Self-Advocacy Fosters Authenticity — Selfishness Corrupts Integrity 

The act of self-advocacy involves taking time to explore one’s own needs and feelings. As a result, you feel empowered while maintaining your personal integrity. Selfishness corrupts an individual’s sense of integrity by leading them to make decisions based on self-interest rather than considering others. For example, a selfish person may forgo ethical considerations in their pursuit of power or wealth.  

Remember, being your own advocate is empowering and crucial for personal growth and development. It’s about communicating your needs and desires respectfully while also considering the impact on others. By practicing self-advocacy, you set boundaries, assert your rights, and maintain your integrity.