Do you ever feel like an internal voice is telling you that you’re not worthy, smart, or able to do anything? Do you let this voice stop you from pursuing your goals or advocating for yourself? If so, it’s time to challenge those self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. Self-defeating thoughts come in many forms. 

Examples include thinking that you won’t achieve success or that no one will take you seriously when you advocate for yourself. Self-defeating behaviors are any actions that hinder your self-advocacy. This includes procrastinating, being too hard on yourself when you make mistakes, or avoiding conversations with people who could help you achieve your goals.

To overcome these self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, here are five steps you to take:

Step One: Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s important to recognize the feelings and emotions behind your self-defeating behavior. Take some time to reflect on why you are behaving this way or experiencing these thoughts. Don’t push them away or assume you should just “get over it.” Acknowledge how you’re feeling and accept yourself for those feelings first. 

Step Two: Express Yourself

Once you understand what you’re feeling, tell somebody or write in a journal. You need to do this so you can move forward instead of being stuck. But remember not to act on your feelings if it will hurt somebody else. 

Step Three: Make an Accurate Connection

Self-defeating thoughts and behaviors are usually lies or misconnections that people make. You combat them by making an accurate connection with the situation at hand. For example, if you are feeling anxious and think you won’t be able to do something, ask yourself why and what is the true connection between your anxiety and the task. Tell yourself that the thought isn’t real or what it’s saying isn’t true. Doing this will allow you to escape the self-defeating thought pattern and return to reality. Your thoughts only control you if you let them.

Step Four: Surround Yourself with the Right Company

The people you keep around you will greatly impact your thoughts and how you live your life. If you are always surrounded by negative energy and criticism, it’s likely to rub off on you. Be sure the people you are around most of the time are the right company not only for you but also for your goals and their goals. 

Step Five: Take Care of Your Body

Your body is your best source of healing. When you take care of yourself, it helps your mental health and self-esteem. Your brain, after all, is a set of chemicals that need to be balanced and regulated. Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and avoiding unhealthy substances are all important parts of maintaining that balance. In other words, your diet or habits may be to blame if you start noticing more of these thoughts and actions.

Breaking away from negative thinking and behaviors is challenging – no doubt. However, it is possible. Make it a point to remind yourself that you can do anything you work towards. Believe in the possibilities of the future and always have faith in your capabilities.