You are only up for the challenge if it’s truly what you want. In other words, if you don’t want something, you are unlikely to take action to make it happen. This is why many people struggle with losing weight or taking up a new hobby. If you don’t have the internal motivation to make it happen, it’s not going to work. It takes more than just getting to know yourself to be a better self-advocate. It takes a deep understanding of what you want and how to get it.

To figure out what you want, follow these tips: 

Spend Time Alone

When you are too busy and too distracted, it’s hard to tap into your thoughts and feelings. Taking some quiet time to think gives you perspective on what matters most in your life. This could be reading a book, going for a walk, or just sitting in silence. The point is to get away from external noise so you can focus on your own thoughts.

Write it Down

Writing down your thoughts uncovers what it is that you actually want without much work. When you stop needing to be in control, your subconscious will start talking, and you’ll get answers from within. When doing this exercise, ask yourself questions like “What would make me happy?” or “What do I need right now?” 

Talk to People You Trust

Getting outside perspectives gives deeper insight into yourself. Talking to trustworthy folks about what you’re feeling and going through is a helpful way to figure out what it is that you want by viewing it their way. The perspectives and advice they bring are invaluable and can provide clarity and insight in ways you never thought possible.

Look for Patterns

Look at your experiences and patterns to see what’s been working for you and what hasn’t been so successful. This is important to identify which direction you want to move forward with or provide clarity on what it is that you don’t want. Ask yourself, “What patterns have I seen in my life? What has been successful and what hasn’t?”

Recognize When Your Thoughts Are Not Your Own

Often, people are so busy trying to please other people that they forget to ask themselves what they actually want. When in doubt, pause and check in with your own feelings and inner knowing. Ask yourself, “Is this in alignment with my values? Is this something I really care about, or is it just something I think I should care about?”  Don’t be afraid to challenge your thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

You can be a better self-advocate by getting clear on what you actually want and need. You, and only you, can determine what is best for you, and by taking the time to listen to yourself, you can become a better self-advocate. You deserve to be cared for, valued, and respected. All it takes is being your own best advocate.