Overcome your fear

4 questions to identify and overcome fear

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Recently, we talked about moving past the resistance to taking action. Today, we explore what is holding you back from taking action and how you can identify and overcome fear.

It comes in many forms and in many names. But at the core, you’re not moving forward with your career goals because…..

FEAR!

​Fear is tied with anxiety as the number one source of resistance to acting on your dreams. This fear has several causes, from the fear of failure to the fear of success and everything in between. If fear is holding you back, you will need to identify what is causing the it before you can overcome fear.

​If you know your fear, you don’t need this exercise. But if not, it’s time to get a pen and paper and answer the following questions. Notice what feelings come up as you answer each question. Fear? Anxiety? When you find one or more that causes fear, you’ve found your answer.

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1.) What happens if you fail?

Does this question bring up fear and anxiety? It probably does, as most people are afraid of failure, but it might not be your primary issue if it’s not overwhelming. Regardless, answer the question. If you fail, what happens? Does the world end? Do you lose the chance to try again? Or are you just embarrassed?

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2.) What happens if you succeed?

How will your life change? How will it stay the same? What’s the best outcome? What’s the worst? Pay attention to these questions because you might be surprised to see what comes up in the way of fear -fear of success is almost as prevalent as fear of failure!

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3.) What will you lose?

Nothing comes for free; we often have to give up something to change our lives. What will you lose by reaching this goal? Write everything down that you can think of. Be specific. Does anything on that list trigger fear?

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4.) What will you gain?

Gaining new things can cause fear too, believe it or not. What do you stand to gain from reaching this goal? Write down specifics. How does it make you feel to contemplate this? Can you not list a specific, concrete thing? The latter may indicate a fear of the unknown.

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This exercise should give you a good idea of where your fears about your goals lie. Once you know what they are, you can start to work through them and loosen their hold on you. Then you will have overcome fear. If you finish this and are still unsure, you’ll need to do some more introspection and possibly seek support to sort out the issue(s) behind your resistance. It may be harder for you, but you can do it.

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Getting Past Resistance to Action

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One of the most common things I encounter in my coaching work is getting past resistance to action – clients who know what they need to do but can’t seem to get around to it. Particularly now, as we edge towards the end of the year, many people choose to slow down, waiting for the new year to take action.

Spoiler alert: You won’t!

Instead, you’ll find yourself in a fog that lasts until the end of January 2023. And then the guilt of not doing anything will get you down. You see where I am going with this….

The hardest part of making your dreams come true and reaching your career goals is acting on them. It’s easy to dream about things you want to have in your life or things you want to do but much harder to make them happen.

This is especially true when you find yourself *wanting* to act on your dreams. And though nothing is stopping you, you’re still unable to move forward for some reason.

The name for this phenomenon is RESISTANCE. Breaking through it is crucial to reaching your goals.

Resistance is a common phenomenon. So common that most people experience it at some point in their careers. I can relate to this. My boss had just relayed that they had nominated me to move to another department to set up and manage a Help Desk. On the one hand, I was looking forward to the move. After all, I had been asking for some time for a new assignment and challenge. On the other hand, I was walking into the unknown. I was moving out of my comfort zone. I knew little about the other department. Yet, there was so much expectation upon me to perform.

Looking back now, I am glad I overcame the resistance and made a move. I got some of the greatest lessons in managing multi-generational issues in the workplace. I even wrote about my lessons here.

How to move past the resistance

  1. To get past the resistance, you must first determine what’s causing it.

Resistance has many causes; anxiety and fear are the most common, but there are many other causes, such as

  • Do you have conflicting goals?
  • Are you trying to reach goals you want, or that other people want for you?
  • Are you focusing on what you’ll lose instead of what you’ll gain?
  • Are you procrastinating until the time is “right?” Or overwhelmed by all the work ahead of you?

Figuring out the root issue or issues (there could be more than one) will help you make a plan to deal with it.

2. Your post-resistance plan

If you have fear or anxiety about working on your career dreams, you’ll need to use specific methods to reduce them. A good example, a method I found helpful when facing my resistance challenge, was talking to someone outside the situation. This can be a friend, mentor or coach. Their external perspective will allow you to see things through the right lens.

The only ones you can’t easily fix are conflicting and false goals; they require a reevaluation of your dreams and setting new goals. While you reevaluate, you’ll also need to explore if the struggles come from a value mismatch between what you want and the opportunity in front of you.

3. Work your plan.

Try different methods. Change up what you’re doing until you find something that works and helps you break through the wall. Once you break through the resistance, you’ll find working on your goals much easier.

 Final thoughts

The most important part of getting past resistance is to keep trying. If you work on it, you’ll find a way through. It might seem impossible, but it’s not. Very few things are impossible. Just don’t give up. That’s the only way to ensure you never get past the resistance.

 You can do this. You can get through the resistance and make it happen. Your career goals are waiting for you. You have to get to them!

5 questions to unlock your career in 2023

5 Questions to Unlock Your Career in 2023

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Have you been asking yourself how you can unlock your career?

2022 is quickly coming to an end, and just like that, 2023 is here with us. You had many plans for 2022 which didn’t see the light of day.

What do you do with all those plans? Do you forget about them? Or should you try to rework them in 2023?

I attended a training that reminded me about the power of asking questions. And not just any questions, but powerful questions. The reasons to ask powerful questions?

  • A chance to self-reflect
  • An opportunity to unlock your next steps
  • A way to systematically eliminate options which won’t help you so you can identify the options which will

Let’s look at how you can apply each question to unlock your next steps:

1. WHERE? Where is a situational analysis question.

  • Where am I now?
  • Where do I want to be instead?
  • Where did I want to be by now? 

For example:

  • I’m in a job that I love but no longer challenges me, and I want to move into a similar position in a different industry.
  • I’m feeling stuck in my current job, but I know I can do so much more. So, I want a promotion to a manager position.

Okay, so you have a clear picture of where you are now and where you want to go.

2. WHAT? What is the next level of question which helps you get to the bottom of your deepest desire. Or reconnect with your hopes and dreams.

  • What kind of life do I want to live?
  • What does my dream job look like?
  • What would I be doing if money wasn’t an issue?
  • What brings me joy, a sense of peace and the greatest fulfillment?
  • Which qualities do I need to succeed in my career?

As you answer these questions, you’ll want to silence that inner voice which says, “but”……

🤔But…….what makes you think you deserve it?

You need to be realistic……

Because it just can’t happen….

🤔What makes you so special you think you can get your dream job?

There is a place to ask those questions. But, at this point in the exercise, you only need to take notes.

REMEMBER: Don’t edit yourself – allow yourself to dream and imagine!

Done? Let’s move on to the next question.

3. WHY? Why is the compelling reason behind your WHAT to unlock your career.

You need to stay focused on your career goals – WHY is that reason. Everyone’s why is different. So find yours and allow that reason to keep you moving towards your goal.

Keeping asking why until you get to the heart of your core reason for wanting what you want.

For example:

  • A new job in a different environment could mean peace of mind and good mental health.
  • A promotion could be an opportunity to do meaningful work which aligns with your values.
  • A job could mean a roof over your head, food in your family’s stomach and security.
  • More money could mean better care for your aging parents, a long-awaited dream holiday or even more time, freedom and peace of mind.

4. WHEN? When is your deadline which creates a sense of urgency and helps you track your progress to unlock your career.

Asking when helps you plan the activities which will get you to your desired goal.

For example,

When you were in school, you had the exam calendar which told you when you needed to be ready to sit an exam for each subject. With the deadline in mind, you could create a study plan to increase your chances of success in the exam. If you were one of those “works well under pressure” people, you know from experience how stressful that approach is.

Be intentional about your career growth

What does that look like in practice?

If you’re looking for a job, it could mean……

“I will spend 30 minutes on LinkedIn daily growing my network and interacting with people at the companies I would like to work at.”

If you’re looking for a promotion at work, it could mean…..

“I will find a mentor to guide me on how to move into a senior leadership role.”

If you want to learn a new skill, it could mean,

“I will set aside 2 hours in my calendar every weekday to complete a course about interviewing skills.”

Finally, let’s look at the last question – WHO!

5. WHO? Who talks about the partners and support system you’ll need along the way.

Identify your winning team to help you achieve your goals. It can be a friend, a mentor, a coach, or even a trainer. Whatever you do, don’t walk alone. You’ll achieve more faster by inviting others to walk with you.

Where? | What? | Why? | When? | Who?

In conclusion, those five powerful questions will help unlock your next career steps for 2023. Would you prefer a downloadable summary of the five questions? Get it here!

Do you need help to unlock your career for 2023? Comment “UNLOCK“ below.

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Boot Overwhelm to Boost Productivity

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You can boost productivity and overcome overwhelm. One of the leading reasons people feel unproductive is their sense of overwhelm. Feeling overwhelmed triggers:

  • Avoidance
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Anger

and more.

Whether you feel overwhelmed with work, family, or a combination of both, overwhelm can lead to not knowing what to do next or feeling as though you’ll never be able to meet the expectations in front of you. That’s when the couch and some ice cream sound like an excellent idea.

Booting overwhelm is key to boosting productivity. Here are some facts about overwhelm that may help you approach your daily tasks differently and help you become more productive.

Fact: You can’t do it all in one day – If you don’t put limits on your schedule, you’ll become overwhelmed. That’s because unlimited tasks and people are vying for your time. You must take control of your schedule and set healthy boundaries about what you can honestly accomplish in a day. 


Fact: You may be overprioritizing – It’s easy to say yes to things that seem important, but are they necessary? Asking yourself if a task or commitment is necessary can help you reduce the load you have on your schedule. Make sure what you say yes to is the most productive. Delegate, postpone, or say no to things that aren’t top priorities.

Fact: You might need a break – Overwhelm can affect your health. If you’ve become run down and ragged trying to keep up with the overabundance of commitments you’ve made, cutting them down to manageable tasks may not be enough. You may need to take a few days for yourself to boost your immunities, boost your energy, and boost your enthusiasm so you can boot overwhelm and boost your productivity.  


Fact: You may need discipline – Sometimes overwhelm isn’t really overwhelm at all. Procrastination or failing to hold yourself accountable can lead to failure to accomplish important tasks. Things like staying up too late, eating too many convenience foods, engaging in too much social media, or being distracted can contribute to a lack of energy and using your time wisely. Suddenly, you’ve got too much to do and not enough time to do it. Be sure to hold yourself accountable to manage your time, so you don’t feel overwhelmed.

Feeling overwhelmed is a fast path to feeling unproductive. It’s hard to get things done when it feels like there are too many things to do. You can control many of the reasons you feel overwhelmed, and that’s good news!

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Eat a Frog to be More Productive

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Bill Gates famously said, “people overestimate what they can get done in a day and underestimate what they can get done in a decade.” That’s because people wake up with the best intentions to tackle the world every day. But they often fail to meet their expectations. Without a plan to stay focused and on track, it’s really easy to become distracted by shiny objects that may not contribute to your goals.

Eat a Frog to be More Productive

When it comes to productivity, there are plenty of methods out there to motivate and keep you on track. Don’t mind if you sometimes feel unproductive. One of the most popular is the Eat a Frog method. This method is great for people who resist micromanagement, can easily become distracted throughout the day, and may not be sure where to start to get the most accomplished.

Eating a frog doesn’t sound very appetizing, does it? Unless you enjoy the French delicacy, most people would not want to eat a frog. The concept is based on the fact that if you must eat a frog, it’s best to do it and get it out of the way as soon as possible.

Mark Twain wrote, “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning, and if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” 

There you have it, the key to productivity. Simply identify your biggest task of the day and get it off your plate first. Make sure you use the most energy, resources, and determination to first wipe out the biggest, hardest, and most important task. From there, move on to the next most important and repeat.

Unexpected Benefits of Eating Frogs

Benefit: Setting the determination to eat one or two (or whatever number you can handle) frogs per day will cause you to laser-focus your attention. This will help you avoid, eliminate, or set boundaries against distractions.


Benefit: Other productivity methods incorporate routine breaks in relatively short time frames. This can actually break your momentum and train of thought. Eating frogs helps you start and finish tasks much faster than other methods.


Benefit: Over time, you become faster and more capable at tackling tough tasks. The habits and skills you develop eating frogs build on one another, and you’ll soon find yourself looking at frogs and thinking they aren’t that hard to eat after all.


There are plenty of productivity methods out there to help assist you in being more productive. Eating a frog will have you tackling tough tasks first, fast, and furiously.

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Feeling Unproductive? You’re Not Alone

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Many of us live in a culture that glorifies busyness. Feeling unproductive has no space and there’s a lot of pressure to be productive. This can be a relative term because one person’s productivity could look like another’s laziness. Most of the time, productivity is a standard we’ve created in our minds based on what it takes to make us feel confident we’ve used our time wisely.

Feeling Unproductive?  

You’re not alone if you’ve been in a slump or feeling stuck. Everyone goes through seasons of life when they feel unproductive. It’s normal. Some of the common reasons people feel stuck and unproductive are:

  • Boredom
  • Overwhelm
  • Loneliness
  • Anxiety/fear

Many of these are because of seasons of life or situations that change over time. The good news is that tackling some factors associated with why you feel unproductive can help flip the switch to more productivity and general satisfaction.

Is boredom making you unproductive? Sometimes we go through seasons of life when we feel stuck. Perhaps we aren’t happy with our job, our workplace relationships, or some other aspects of our jobs. Not having anything to look forward to or engaging in the same activities of life day in and day out can create a sense of boredom and lack of interest.

Are you overwhelmed to the point of doing nothing? When we are overburdened, it can feel overwhelming. Instead of crushing our to-do list, we stare at it blankly. Sometimes our minds override our instincts to get things done and keep us on the couch scrolling through social media instead. When we are overwhelmed, it can be harder to prioritize tasks and see things through to completion.

Can loneliness affect productivity? It sure can! People who have a strong sense of community are more energetic and productive. Loneliness can affect our optimism, energy levels, and productivity. Since loneliness can contribute to depression and destructive habits, it can have a ripple effect on confidence and interest in getting things done.

Will fear derail your productivity? Fear is a powerful motivator. It can drive us to do things or not do things. Fear and anxiety contribute to failing to take action. Whether it’s fear of the unknown, imposter syndrome, or associated anxiety about tasks, being afraid can easily derail productivity.

If you’ve been feeling unproductive, don’t worry. You’re not alone. It’s natural to go through seasons where you don’t feel productive. As you solve problems, find motivation, and get things back on track, you will feel more productive and in control.

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Build a Success Mindset

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Success in life often comes down to two things: doing the work and your success mindset. You won’t reach your goals or make your dreams come true if you don’t have both components. Both of them are within your control.

Doing the work is self-explanatory. A success mindset is believing in yourself and cultivating the skills necessary to make yourself act (and keep acting) on your dreams through all the challenges and obstacles you’re sure to face along the way. It means developing the strength and the connections to stay the course when it gets difficult.

Cultivating a success mindset is a lifelong practice, but here are some steps to help you get started. Use these tips to help you grow and learn and become a better person, and you’ll be more likely to reach your goals and make your dreams a reality.

1. Challenge Yourself

Don’t be content with the skills you already have and the things you’ve already accomplished. Challenge yourself to do something new or difficult regularly. Even if you fail, the challenge will help you grow and succeed at other things.

2. Get a Mentor

Find someone more successful than you at doing the same thing. Make friends with them and ask them to mentor you. A mentor is invaluable for getting advice and problem-solving. A mentor has walked in your shoes, learned a few things, and can help you navigate the same path.

Here’s how mentorship works to advance your career:

  • You learn from your mentor’s successes and failures
  • Your mentor helps you see things from a different perspective
  • Your mentor guides you in making career choices and transitions
  • Your mentor is a sounding board for your thoughts and ideas
  • They challenge you to develop new knowledge and skills

3. Embrace Failure

Don’t be afraid to fail! It’s not the end of the world; even if you end up embarrassed, you’ll have learned something. Pick yourself up, figure out where you went wrong, and try again. Look at failing as a challenge to do better next time rather than an end. And avoid the temptation to procrastinate because of a past failure.

4. Make Successful Friends

It’s been said that you are the average of the people you hang around with. So, if you want to be successful in making your dreams come true, make friends with successful people. They don’t have to have the same dream as you, but they need to have reached their goals.

5. Remind Yourself of Your Successes

No matter how old you are or how much you’ve done (or not done) with your life to date, you’ve certainly had some successes. When you start to get down on yourself, remember all the times you’ve succeeded. Every success counts and experience is wasted.

How can you start building a success mindset today? Identify your best step and take action immediately.

This article was first published on LinkedIn. You can join the conversation here.

Beat procrastination by taking action now

3 Ways to Beat Procrastination

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Procrastination is one of the hardest forces to overcome when you’re trying to act on your career dreams. Even if you’re not showing other overt signs of resistance, it’s easy to get caught in a procrastination loop. It happens to almost everyone at one time or another.

Procrastinating doesn’t mean you’re lazy; it means that you’re having trouble focusing and acting. This is why generic platitudes such as “work harder” and “just get it over with” don’t work. You have to do something to get over the procrastination itself. This list contains three ways you can help slay the procrastination monster.

1) Make it fun

Making something fun is a great way to beat procrastination. Turn the dreaded task into a game. See how fast you can get it down. Do it to music. Sing songs while you work. Find someone to help you and compete to see who can complete their portion of the task. Whoever gets done first wins a prize.

If it’s a repetitive task, set up a scorecard. Add points and bonuses – even if you’re the only one doing it. Promise yourself a reward for getting a task you dislike finished. Make the reward something that will motivate you and follow through. These are just a few examples – there are many more.

2) Get accountability

Find a friend or coworker who will hold you accountable and not allow you to get away with excuses. In getting accountability, you can agree that you’ll either get the task done by a certain date and time, or you’ll do something that you really, really don’t want to do.

It shouldn’t be something horrible. A good example is agreeing to donate a large (but affordable) sum of money to a cause you hate if you don’t follow through. This motivates many people to stop procrastinating.

3) Change Your Self-Talk

Self-talk is the constant monologue inside our heads. It’s how we think about ourselves and talk to ourselves. It can be empowering and uplifting, or depressing and deprecating (and everything in between). When you’re procrastinating and feeling guilty, you often resort to negative self-talk. This means you say things such as “I must…” or “I have to…” and follow it up by talking down to yourself because you haven’t done it yet. Instead, change it to something empowering. A good example would be “I choose to do this because (fill in the blank).” Changing your self-talk will make you feel better about yourself and motivate you.

Which of the three ways will you choose to beat procrastination today?