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3 Tips for Getting the Most out of Coaching

There are unlimited ways to get coaching these days. One internet search will produce thousands of results for all forms of coaching. Finding coaching is easy, but getting the most out of coaching….not so much. Getting the most out of coaching has more to do with you than it does with your coach. Assuming your coach is reputable and knows how to deliver excellent coaching, the rest will be up to you.

Here are some top tips for getting the most out of coaching before you dive in:

Top-Tip #1: Find the right coach

Top-Tip #2: Trust the process

Top-Tip #3: Stick with it

Find the right coach- Finding the right coach for your needs is the most important part of coaching. If you don’t have the right coach for the job, it simply won’t work. You wouldn’t hire a fitness coach to teach you to potty train a toddler. Be sure to research and find the right coach for your needs.

Do you work well with someone direct and concise? Or do you prefer a coach with a sense of humor? Whatever your preference may be, a coach should be positive, empathetic, non-judgmental, knowledgeable, and able to give actionable advice.

Trust the process- Coaching isn’t therapy, training or consulting. You need to allow the coach to take you on the journey to what you hired them for. Let them challenge, coach, and support you so you maximize your coaching time as much as possible.

The right coach may offer materials that supplement their coaching. People learn in many ways, and having supporting materials can help. If your coach offers videos, slide decks, audio, and one-to-one coaching, use it all to help you achieve your goals. Getting the most out of coaching and engagement with your coach will require time without distraction for any additional work the coach might assign you.

Stick with it- People give up coaching way too soon. Stick with your coach and make a plan together to evaluate your coaching along the way to ensure it’s a win-win. Nothing happens overnight, so be willing to invest in your future and stick with coaching until you hit your goals.


The right coach will help you evaluate your progress and give you feedback along the way on whether you are closer to or farther away from your goals. Checking in can help you make any changes to keep you on track. Don’t give up when it gets tough or it seems like things aren’t working. Communicate and stick with it. There are great coaches out there. Once you find one, you’ve got to do your part to get the most out of coaching. Follow these top tips to be sure you get the best coaching out there and that you make the most of your investment.

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Top Tips for Asking for What You Want with Confidence

Asking for what you want is more than simply posing a question or making a request. It is packaging a set of well-thought-out plans, coupled with good timing, confidence, and conviction about what you want all wrapped in one tight package. Asking for what you want with confidence requires you to say no to one thing and BE a few things:

  • Be- Prepared and know what you want
  • Be- Aware of your surroundings
  • Be- Confident with your non-verbal body language
  • Be- Ready to defend your request

Being ready when it’s time to ask for what you want makes the process easier and the likelihood you’ll get what you ask for higher. Let’s take a look.

Be prepared and know what you want- If you know what you want and why, it’s much easier to ask confidently. Some asks don’t need an explanation, while others might. Be confident in why you want what you want so you can boldly ask regardless of the possible rejection. If you are clear on what you want, your mindset will be in the right space. Remember, others can’t read your mind, so don’t expect it.

Be aware of your surroundings- Timing is everything. When you ask, the circumstances and what’s going on at the time, can influence the outcomes. Be considerate of the surroundings at the time of your request to make certain you are choosing the right time, location, and circumstances to ask for what you want.

Be confident non-verbally- A significant portion of communication is non-verbal. Your words may convey one thing, while your body and eyes may convey another. If you want your ask to be received confidently, your body language needs to align with your ask. Look people in the eye, stand up straight, and ensure you are confident from the inside out.

Be ready to defend your request- Asking for what you want comes with some risk. From turning around a flat-out rejection to defending your ask, you must be prepared to stand up for what you ask. Be ready with facts, reasons, or other information that supports your request so you can educate or persuade if necessary.

Confidently asking for what you want is more than simply making an ask. You’ve got to be confident in what you are asking for, ask for it at the right time, use your non-verbal body language to sell the ask, and defend your request if necessary. Packaging your ask with these components will help build your confidence and make asking for what you want easier and more successful.

Transform your leadership

Transform Your Leadership: Lift Up Other Leaders

Congratulations on making it to day 7 of the Transform Your Leadership series.

The journey to transform your leadership is not for the fainthearted.

Being a mentor is a wonderful thing. Helping lift emerging leaders grow through a mentorship relationship helps you, the leader (as the mentor) and the mentee. Outside of mentorship, leaders can help one another out too. Your fellow leaders need your support to help them thrive and grow….because leadership isn’t for the weak.

Everyone faces tough times. Businesses close, projects fall apart, new launches get delayed, and things at home can become complicated. Therefore, leaders need other leaders to help and support them. No one understands the struggles that leaders face better than other leaders do. It’s important to lift leaders up and help them grow through the process and transform their leadership.

Be there when your colleagues need you

Leadership is its own club. People who lead need others who lead to be there when times are hard…whether they ask or not. If you see someone in the leadership community struggle, get in there and offer your support. Reaching out and letting someone know you care can make all the difference in how well they cope during a tough time.

Note: leaders aren’t limited to the workplace. A struggling parent is a leader. So, if you see someone who needs support, reach out and help lift them up.

Celebrate when your colleagues win

It’s natural to feel a tinge of jealousy when your “competition” gets a win. Great leaders celebrate wins, whether big or small. Your genuine enthusiasm for other people’s success will only make yours stronger. There’s no limit to the success available to you and those you lead with. Get excited about their successes and genuinely congratulate and celebrate with them. You’ll be surprised how much celebrating with others will transform your leadership.

Step in when your colleagues fall down

Sometimes people take a fall. An illness, injury, or even a scandal can set someone in leadership back. Be willing and able to step in when your colleagues fall. Offer to take some of their workload, offer to assist them in practical ways, or take the initiative and lead for them in their absence. You’re a leader and there’s no better time to lead than when your fellow colleague can’t.

Being in leadership is a sisterhood and brotherhood unlike any other. There’s a comradery between leaders who have worked hard to encourage, mentor, and motivate their teams. They need the same encouragement themselves. Leaders lean on leaders who understand and have the unique abilities to support them and help them grow too.

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3 Tips for Growing as a Leader

Your promotion to leadership isn’t the end of the line…You’ve only just begun the leadership journey. Becoming a leader qualifies you to lead others, but your skills will grow over time, making you more and more effective. Growing as a leader should always be the goal, whether you’ve just begun or you’ve been leading for years.

The best leaders have things in common. They are generally:

  • Confident
  • Considerate
  • Consistent

Being confident, considerate, and consistent are not static things. They change all the time. Being confident wanes from time to time when life throws curve balls. Being kind and considerate of others can be challenging when you’re overly stressed or worried. Consistency gets jeopardized when life is overwhelming or underwhelming. That’s why outstanding leaders are always working on these areas of their lives.

Here are some practical ways to keep growing as a leader in the areas of confidence, consideration, and consistency.

Confidence – Pay attention to what gets you down.

We all have triggers that affect our confidence. It’s possible to be highly confident in one area of life and completely wrecked in another. Pay attention to what gets you down at certain points of life. Your confidence might need to be bolstered here and there, even when you’re leading. Life’s circumstances can trigger areas where you don’t feel strong. Seek to find solutions when you feel your confidence getting weak, and you’ll be able to overcome your insecurities and become a more effective leader in the process.

 Consideration – Pay attention when you feel off.

Being kind and considerate is easy when life’s firing on all cylinders. People respect fair leaders. They resist leaders who are harsh, unrealistic, and mean. Your off-duty life could affect your on-duty leadership. If you’re going through a tough time, it’s a great time to stretch and grow and learn new stress management techniques or how to overcome overwhelm. Whether you are leading your family, a community project or a team at work, being considerate is a primary character trait of successful leadership.

Consistency – Pay attention when you are erratic.

One of the key characteristics of great leadership is dependability and consistency. That how you show up is the same today, tomorrow, and down the line. The surest thing to breach trust with others is to be erratic. When it comes to leadership, consistency is key. If you find you are going through a season where you’re dropping the ball or acting in unpredictable ways, it’s a great time to grow as a leader and learn how to manage yourself and get back on track.

Remember,  

Leadership is not a destination, it’s a journey. Being an effective leader includes the commitment to grow. The issues you face today won’t be the same tomorrow. The people you lead on and off duty will cause you to need new skills. Keep focused on your confidence, consideration, and consistency so you can grow and maintain high-quality leadership skills. 

Leaders mentor others

Mentoring Others Makes You a Better Leader

Mentoring others makes you a better leader!

If you’re in a leadership role, you didn’t get there on your own. Someone, at some point, poured into you and helped shape you into the person you are! Having a mentor can make all the difference when it comes to being an effective leader. Being a mentor helps pay forward the help you’ve received and the lifetime of knowledge you’ve accumulated.

Mentoring others makes you a better leader because it helps you

  1. Teach a wider range of skills
  2. Motivate new leaders
  3. Keeps you grounded

1/ Mentoring teaches more than the obvious

Mentoring an emerging leader requires more than basic skills. Mentoring someone to do a task in and of itself is a great thing to do. Passing on traditions and skills has been a form of teaching for generations. Mentoring someone in leadership surpasses practical skills and includes esoteric skills that go beyond the technical aspects of a trade. Mentoring leaders teaches them the psychological and interpersonal skills that make great leaders. Often, these subtleties make all the difference for emerging leaders.

2/ Mentoring motivates new leaders

Part of the role of leadership is motivating others. Getting them excited about the possibilities and feeling confident about what they can accomplish. Mentoring new leaders is the epitome of motivating. Sure, you’ll have to cover the challenges of leadership- which are many, but overall you can help motivate a new leader to be their best. This in turn, motivates you and helps remind you of the benefits of being a leader as well.

3/ Mentoring keeps you grounded too

Being in leadership should be humbling. Serving others is what leadership is all about. Being a leader has perks and advantages, but it also has tough realities that those who aren’t in leadership don’t have to face. Mentoring others keeps you grounded and reminds you that leadership is important and that the well-being of those you lead is in a leader’s hands.

Mentoring is a wonderful way to sharpen your leadership skills and transform you as a leader. Teaching emerging leaders the nuances of their roles can help them become better leaders in a shorter time.

Remember those who taught you along the way, and be sure to pay it forward to the people you are fortunate enough to impact. Your teaching time can be learning time for you too, because your mentee will surely have something new to teach you as well. Celebrate your mentees and help them achieve their best by mentoring them and pouring into their futures.

If you missed the start of the 7-day transform your leadership challenge, catch the first five days >>> Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 and Day 4.

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Great leaders serve others – regardless of their position

This article about how great leaders serve is the 4th in the 7-day challenge to transform your leadership skills. Click on the links below to check out the earlier steps to transform your leadership.

(1/7) Day #1: You are Always Leading – On and Off Duty

Day #2: 3 Habits to Break That Will Make You a Better Leader

Day 3: Three key concepts of great leadership

Now, onto day 4.

Great leaders serve others. Most leaders started out as followers. Leadership comes from mastery of a concept or idea and inspiring and motivating others to achieve a common goal. Good leaders have spent significant time in the trenches and never stop, even after they’re promoted.

Being a leader means more than being the boss. It requires a willingness to take on more responsibilities than the team and to be willing to work just as hard, if not harder. Sadly, leadership can get a bad name. The imagery of someone sitting at a desk with their feet up while others do the work that they claim for themselves leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The idea is that leaders have paid their dues and don’t have to work hard anymore. Sadly, this is a way that leadership gets a bad name. In addition, some leaders lose touch with what it takes to be on the front lines and diminish or discount the hard work of the people they lead. In both cases, this can cause a rift between leaders and team members.

The best leaders have a heart for service and never stop. No matter how high their leadership title, great leaders serve others and seek to better understand the needs of the people they are leading. Here are some easy ways to continue to serve, even when you’re the leader:

  1. Don’t be afraid to do the work too
  2. Seek to determine what others need
  3. Ask more questions

1/ Delegate, but be sure to do the work too

The best leaders make time to get alongside the people they serve and do the work too. Delegating is an important function of leadership. You can’t lead if you are doing all the work, but it’s important to keep morale high and keep your skills polished too. You can do both by working alongside the people you lead and showing them there’s nothing you aren’t too important to do.

2/ Find out what people need to make things easier- The people you lead have a lot on their plate. They have on and off duty lives too. Keeping your finger on the pulse of what they need provides opportunities for you to serve them and build their trust and respect for you. Great leaders know when their teams need something to make their work easier or to offset troubles they have off the clock. Stay in touch and in tune with your teams, and you’ll transform your leadership skills exponentially.

3/ Always ask questions- Leaders have to hand down a lot of policies and procedures that their teams have to follow. Whether it’s your family or people you lead for work, asking them questions and getting their input can help everyone feel heard and valued. Sometimes someone you lead might have an idea or a process that is better than the one you came up with. Great leaders include their wealth of resources in their leadership. This includes asking questions of the people they lead.

Serving others, even when you’re the leader, is vital. There’s no title too high that excludes someone from service. There are many ways to lead and many ways to serve, and the two always go hand in hand. Finally, remember, as a leader, you also need to grow in confidence and consistency.

Key concepts of great leadership

3 Key Concepts of Great Leadership

“The people with the greatest love, not the most information, will influence us to change.”

Bob Goff

Bob Goff is the New York Times best-selling author of the book Love Does. His quote reminds us it isn’t what you know that matters as much as how you behave. You may have all the knowledge in the world on important subjects, which will make you an expert, but if you don’t have the social skills to lead others with love, you won’t be very effective.

Goff shared a story in a blog post about Galileo, a scientist who used a telescope to determine that the Earth and the other planets rotated around the sun. At the time, this went against the standard beliefs in science and led to Galileo’s arrest and jailing. What Galileo discovered was the truth, but his truth threatened those in leadership, and instead of listening, they reacted defensively.

As leaders, it’s important to realize that information changes and that sometime down the line, someone might prove what we think we know to be ineffective or wrong. As a leader, how you treat others is more important than what you know. Here are some key concepts to keep in mind.

Key Concept #1 – Being challenged doesn’t require defensiveness.

Some leaders feel that no one should challenge their authority. A leadership role holds an expectation of authority and, in most cases, deserves respect. However, seek to earn respect. If your authority is challenged, hold your peace, maintain your maturity, and determine if the challenge is worthy. If worthy, embrace the challenge and work together to seek a solution, remedy, or embrace the new information with gratitude.

Key Concept #2 – Seek to inspire, not command

Leadership should inspire others to want to take action on behalf of the leader or the common goal the leader represents. How you treat others will determine how willing they are to serve the cause. Great leaders inspire people to go beyond what they might do on their own. By serving as an example, doing the work alongside others, and being the hardest working member of the group, leaders can encourage others also to give their best.


Key Concept #3 – Surround yourself with people smarter than you are

Great leaders know that life’s an ever-evolving thing and requires lifelong learning. No one person can know everything in all areas. Strong leaders surround themselves with people smarter than they are in certain areas, empower them, and support them to shine. They aren’t threatened by someone else’s knowledge or the fact they don’t know everything. True leadership includes the humility of being less knowledgeable and making no apologies. What you know isn’t as important as how you operate. Being a great leader includes knowing your stuff, but more importantly, it includes being kind, and compassionate, and treating those you lead with dignity and respect.

PS: This article is part of a 7-day challenge to transform your leadership. You can catch up with the other days by clicking on the respective links below:

Day #1: You are Always Leading – On and Off Duty

Day #2: 3 Habits to Break That Will Make You a Better Leader

Habit to make you a better leader

3 Habits to Break That Will Make You a Better Leader

Do you want to become a better leader? We will examine how you can move from good to great during the seven-day challenge to transform your leadership skills. In case you missed the first day of the challenge, you can catch up here:

Day #1: Great leaders are always leading

Now on to day #2 of the challenge, where we talk about how to become a better leader.

Some people set out for leadership. They want to be in a leadership role and take charge. Other people find themselves in leadership roles reluctantly. They don’t necessarily see themselves as leaders, but circumstances or necessity dictates that they’ve got to step up and lead. Either way, both potential leaders bring more than positive skills to the plate.

We’ve all got habits that we need to break. Too much fast food. Binge-watching Netflix and other habits don’t always serve us. Leaders have bad habits, too – even when they are leading others. Breaking bad habits can make you a better leader. Breaking bad habits does more than reduce the negativity in your life, it moulds you into a better and more effective leader. Here’s how:

Losing the bad habit is one thing, but what you learn in the process is a secondary benefit. Dropping the bad habit itself will make you healthier, but overcoming the mindset and behaviours that accompany the bad habit is equally beneficial.


Here are 3 bad habits you can break that will make you a better leader

  1. Break the complaining habit: Complaining is a form of passive aggression. Complaining has no room in a leader’s tool kit. Complaining is an immature way to manage stress. Sure, recognizing that something isn’t right is essential. Analyzing things for their merit matters, but going on and on about it without making changes is worthless. Don’t misunderstand – there is a place and time to vent. But, if you want to wear people out and get them riled up, be a complainer. Instead, everyone wants to associate with those who solve problems and find solutions to whatever needs to be changed is the answer. Great leaders don’t complain about things. In place of complaining, outstanding leaders tackle problems and do what needs to be done.
  2. Break the gossiping habit: Gossip is the surest way to sabotage your leadership. Talking about others behind their backs doesn’t do anyone any good. As the saying goes- snuffing out someone else’s light doesn’t make yours shine brighter. Dropping the gossip habit is a bad habit that all good leaders let go of. It’s possible to avoid gossip by refusing to speak negatively about others. You can avoid gossip in groups by removing yourself from conversations that include gossip. You can also set the standard with the people you lead and those you influence on and off duty by making it a policy not to gossip.
  3. Break the avoidance habit: Leaders get things done. That’s why they’re leaders. Leaders don’t wait to be told what needs to be done. They recognize and see what needs to be taken care of and take the initiative. If something is difficult, they find help. If something is too complicated, they seek guidance. Leaders don’t procrastinate, and they avoid nothing. This includes avoiding tasks, avoiding tough conversations, and avoiding challenges. Dropping the avoidance habit helps make leaders more consistent and effective.

Whether you are asking to lead or being pushed into it, you might have some habits worth breaking before you do. Breaking these habits can help transform your effectiveness as a leader on and off duty and improve your overall life experience.

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Great leaders are always leading

Welcome to the 7 days to transform your leadership skills challenge. Over the next seven days, we will look at practical ways to improve and develop your leadership – whether at home or at work.

Ready to get started, let’s dive into day 1.

Great leaders understand that leadership isn’t something you take on and off like a coat. Leadership skills and operating from a leadership perspective is something leaders do on and off duty. That’s because the skill sets that make great leaders also make great

  • Spouses
  • Parents
  • Community champions
  • Volunteers

AND

  • Mentors

Great leaders don’t go to work and put on their leadership hats only to take them off when they leave. Great leaders lead in all that they do. They lead by how they

  • Solve problems
  • Approach conflict
  • Prioritize their schedule
  • Treat people in their lives

AND

  • Much more!

Great leaders succeed in their leadership because their leadership skills are engrained in their everyday life. How you see them when they lead is also how you’ll see them when they’re behind closed doors.

In the truest sense, everyone is a leader in one way or another. Your title might not officially place you in a leadership role, but you are leading. Whether it’s leading your family, friends, or a small group of people volunteering in the community, you are leading. Taking on a leadership mindset on and off duty can help you be a more effective leader that people willingly and enthusiastically follow.

It’s important to realize that people are always watching, and in doing so they are evaluating one another’s leadership skills and getting behind the people leading the way. People feel comfortable with others who are confident, considerate, and consistent in their behavior and their attitude.

Not all leaders desire to lead. Some people are placed in situations where they are required to lead despite their preference to blend into the crowd. Leadership is important, and having the courage to lead…even when you don’t want to…is also important. Sometimes you have to take the reins and do what’s best for the situation.

Whether you plan to lead or lead unexpectedly, you will lead at some point. Everyone is leading somehow and making things better for others. Be aware of the importance of leadership and having a leadership mindset, whether at work, at home, or in the community.

Be aware of your impact on others and be sure that your leadership style is motivating and encouraging so you aren’t overrunning others or making them feel inadequate. The best leaders consistently make those they lead feel empowered and capable of whatever tasks need to be done.